New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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