If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
My vagina just recognized that song.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
