In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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