come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
