Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
