Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
