I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
