we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
