I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
