You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize