i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
