9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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