You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
