Where did you get a picture of my penis
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
my poor anus
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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