What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
