If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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