Having a random hookup so left but love u
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
