How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
