we're blogging at a bar
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
