Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
