I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
