its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
