He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Randomize
