I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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