Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
