bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
