hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
