I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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