Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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