I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
