I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
