I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
