Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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