She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
