I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
