Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
