Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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