I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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