I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
