I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
