I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
