woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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