i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
someone owes me an orgasm
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
