i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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