we have officially lost it.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
