Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
