I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
