Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
