Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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