nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
