So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
