Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She bit a glass in half.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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