weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
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